You Never Can Tell with Bees

Bees are funny things. They make some good honey, though. How is it that some people can get the honey from the bees unharmed, and most of us would be stung if we attempted such a feat. I have no idea. I do, however, agree with Winnie the Pooh that one really never can tell with bees.

There are several things in life that we may not be certain about. Bees, for example. People whom we meet for the first time. Alcohol. Ok, I'm going to try and tie all of this story together. Bear with me, it may prove to be difficult as I took an Ambien about an hour ago. Ambien is the difference between twister and Crisco twister.....things just flow in a more unpredictable fashion. If you want to say something while not on Ambien, you just say it and make it look nice. On Ambien, hell, it just slides right out there.

To quote one of my favorite people, "You see".......ha ha ha ha. Ok, bad joke. No one will get that except a few people that know me probably too well.

You see, one time Winnie the Pooh wanted to get some hunny from a beehive that was a good distance up in a tree. He tied himself to a balloon, and covered himself with mud in hopes that the bees would dismiss him as a rain cloud and pay no mind to him. I seem to remember it working out for Winnie on that particular day. I really did like Winnie's attitude on life. He was fucking laid back. He always had hunny in his pot, and he always had pot in his hunny. Winnie the Pooh and Jerry Garcia were very close friends, I'm sure of it.

When I started my first job here in Dallas, there was a girl there named Amy. Amy was from Missouri (or Missoura, as my grandmother would call it), the "show me" state. I always wonder and am scared to think about what they would possibly show me. Amy was relatively quiet, and I am always quite quiet around a group of people whom I do not know. I thought she was nice, but I really didn't pay too much attention after that because I was nervous and in a new city, etc., and I was trying to scramble to get my own life together.

A couple of months later, as the people from work were sort of beginning to hang out with one another, we decided that it would be fun to all go out to a bar and visit, and, of course, get drunk. Amy from the "Show Me" state showed up and well...........she drank. Now, at the particular bar where we had gone that night, there was (and still is, as I saw it the other day) a flower pot under one of the windows. One of the first things that I can recall about Amy is that one minute she was fine. The next minute she was sick. Then, in one fluid motion, she leaped to the flower pot, hunched over, pulled her hair back, and PUKED in the flower pot. It was at this point, of course, that I discovered some sort of admiration for her. Now she's about the best friend that I have. And it all stemmed from that flower pot incident. God bless the flower pot incident!

And then, as if that incident were not enough, we went to eat inside Panda's Chinese restaurant with Erica, who was also quite drunk. Amy was back in the gay Jeep continuing to puke. Erica was telling a story about how she managed to put a foley catheter in to a black man's large penis. Folks, it just doesn't get much better than this. But, it's all true. Every word of the Ambiened out story telling. But they are my friends, and if they didn't do all this crazy shit, then how much fun would they be? Probably about as much fun as those squawking Dallas girls with the big hair and the "Oh My God, Becky" voice. Puke! That makes me want to vomit right there.

I have no earthly idea what i wrote tonight. Hopefully no one is offended. I'm tired, and i need to get right to bed so.....to all my friends........have a really, really good night!!!!

later